Friday, August 30, 2013

The Funniest Book I've Ever Read

Hands down, the funniest book I've ever read is Bill Bryson's A Walk in the Woods.
 
I can say this with some certainty because I recently re-read it, and even though I knew what was coming, I still heaved out gobs of laughter, aloud, sometimes so much so that tears were streaming down my face.

I can only recall two other authors whose work ever caused me to laugh out loud, P.G. Wodehouse, whose inimitable tales of the ineffably dense but lovable Bertie Wooster and his man Jeeves fill several howling volumes, and Carl Hiaasen, whom I'd never heard of when I checked one of his novels out of the USIA "library" in Vilnius, Lithuania, and who prompted a gaspy laugh when one of his characters quite suddenly shot someone in the foot. (I'm still a Hiaasen fan, but know what to expect now, so don't laugh out loud anymore.)

If you don't know much about Bryson, he's an American expatriate who first scored success in the UK, where he lives, and where he is a big deal, though nowadays he has a considerable following in the U.S., too. As far as I know, he writes exclusively nonfiction which is a shame, because I'd love to read a Bryson novel.

Who's the funniest author you've ever read? Did you have to wipe away tears before you could turn the page?

Friday, August 9, 2013

Have E-books Jumped the Shark?

Could the e-book revolution be over already?

Here's an interesting commentary on what seems to be a flattening-out of e-book sales and what it may, or may not tell us about the future of publishing (or lack thereof).

What do you think?

Monday, August 5, 2013

Enough Stalling, Already -- Get Organized.

The QueryTracker blog has an interesting post today on using the table function in Word to plot your novel. I confess I didn't even know that Word had a table function. I have tried any number of things over the years to plot out characters and scenes over the years. I was probably most successful using FreeMind mind-mapping software, which is, indeed, free. But maybe I'll give this Word table thing a try. Heaven knows I need all the help I can get.

What works for you?

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Toot My Own Horn Time

Thank you, R.G. Sciandra, for your review of Tainted Souls on Amazon: "One of the best mystery books I've read. More twists and turns than a mountain trail with endless dead-ends. Brilliantly written, fast paced and almost impossible to put down."

Doesn't get me any closer to being dead-tree published, but still . . .

Friday, July 5, 2013

The Price of Honor

The latest review on Amazon of Tainted Souls was unusual enough that I thought I would share it with everyone. "This is a great book for those of us thinking that honour is a concept of days gone by," "rachel" writes. "It is easy to do the right thing. It is difficult to know when to do it."

I applaud her for grasping one of the book's underlying themes. It's always nice to see that someone gets what you're going on about.

How about you? Has any review of your work really struck a note?

Thursday, June 27, 2013

The Perfect Opening Line -- Lost

The other night while out on the deck I had a sudden inspiration and a great opening line flashed into my head.

It was something like, "Everyone makes mistakes," or "Everyone has regrets," or "Everyone wishes he could have a do-over."

But it was none of those.

It was perfect.

It encapsulated the entire theme of the book in a single sentence.

Whatever it was.

The next day, I couldn't remember it. Only pale, lifeless imitations. What was I trying to say? What was the theme I had in mind?

I'll never know. No one will ever know.

It's gone like a bunny down a rabbit hole. Like a dandelion puff in a strong breeze. Like cold beer on a hot day.

Gone forever.

Damn, I should have written it down. I told myself to write it down.

It was perfect.

How sad is that?

Monday, June 17, 2013

My Plot Idea Stolen!

I was planning on writing a post today about interesting -- to me -- words like "outtake" and "takeout," "killjoy" and "buzzkill," which switch verb positions and so forth, and then I discovered this: Christian Nation, a novel that supposes Christian fundamentalists get their way and officially turn this into a "Christian nation."

Now, before I get myself in trouble, I'm not really saying the author, Frederic C. Rich, stole my idea -- he most assuredly did not -- only that I've been thinking about such a book for a few years, exploring what would happen if a constitutional amendment were passed declaring the U.S. a Christian nation, with attendant unforeseen consequences. In Christian Nation the country goes fundamentalist when John McCain dies and Sarah Palin becomes president; the way I conceived my novel, the catalyst would have been al Qaida nuking Chicago, leading to a sudden rush of us-against-them feeling that culminates in the adoption of the 28th Amendment.

I didn't go forward with it for a number of reasons, among which the most important were my general sloth, laziness and lassitude; and I was afraid it would take a lot of work to do it well. Also, it has been done before in some ways, notably by Margaret Atwood in The Handmaids Tale. Still, I was actually readying myself to put pen to paper. I bought a notebook and everything. I imagined the opening scene of protagonist Moire Something-or-other clacking down the marble-floored hallways at the Department of Faith and Justice on her way to a hearing on whether her client's medical outlook met the threshold to obtain an abortion. (She was going to try a novel and groundbreaking claim that since the law banning all abortions permitted an exception in case the mother's life was in danger, and since all pregnancies carry a small risk of death, that all she had to show was that her client was pregnant to gain permission for a therapeutic abortion.) I wasn't really sure where it was going to go after that -- hence the need for the notebook, to make notes! -- but the general premise would have been that the constitutional amendment would have allowed just about anything to be characterized as "Christian" or not, and that you should be careful what you wish for.

So, congratulations to Mr. Rich, I guess.

And back to the drawing board notebook for me.

Mr. Putin's War

Think of what a great world this would be if Putin had decided to solidify democracy in Russia rather than to go all mini-Mussolini on us. I...